INT. IHOP — NIGHT
EUGENE is sitting in a booth. He has a sore throat, and so is trying not to speak. There is a laptop computer open on the table in front of him, into which are plugged the headphones he is wearing. In the booth adjacent to Eugene’s, a MAN and a WOMAN are having animated conversation. A WAITER enters, carrying a glass of water with no ice. The Waiter places the glass of water in front of the Woman.
WAITER
So you’re whining to Bob for your water now?
WOMAN
What?
WAITER
Bob tells me I need to bring out a water with no ice. When did you get so picky?
WOMAN
(Points at glass.) That’s not mine.
WAITER
You didn’t order this?
MAN
Dude, this girl is all about ice.
WOMAN
Yeah, I’ll take a water with ice, if you want to do any actual work tonight. But that’s not mine.
WAITER
Huh.
EUGENE
(Begins to wave at the Waiter.)
WAITER
I wonder what Bob was thinking.
MAN
(Sees Eugene waving and points at him) I think it’s that guy’s.
WAITER
(Not looking at where the Man points) No, you’re my only table.
MAN
He’s waving at you.
WAITER
(Finally looks.) Oh!
The Waiter approaches Eugene with the glass of water, which he places on Eugene’s table.
WAITER
Sorry about that.
EUGENE
(Nods and smiles.)
WAITER
I just assumed it was hers, because water with no ice is something girls order.
(Beat.)
Um, not to call you a girl. It’s not an insult.
(Beat.)
Well, obviously, it is an insult!
(Long beat.)
No, I didn’t mean that. I mean, it’s true. But I can’t help that it’s only girls order water with no ice.
(Beat.)
Well, sorry anyway. You aren’t actually my table. They are.
Exit Waiter. The Man and the Woman begin to talk again, but Eugene raises the volume on his laptop so that he can no longer hear.
