Tag: Athletes Using Language

The Biochemical Origins of Raaaaahh

There is a group in England called the Sense About Science campaign, and they’ve been turning a skeptical eye on some of the more outrageous health and wellness claims made by celebrities.  Buried in the article I read about their project is this absolute gem:

One of the highlights for SAS was a tip from cage fighter Alex Reid, who told The Sun tabloid newspaper in April that he “reabsorbs” his sperm to prepare for a big fight.

“It’s actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn’t ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh,” he said.

I think my favorite part is the specificity.  Steak, eggs, lemons, and oranges.  A combination that I’m sure will be known as the Ejaculate Platter when Mr. Reid retires from the cage and opens his line of signature restaurants. (Actually — per a google search that I never suspected I would type — it looks like he is a reader of Vice Magazine. (maybe NSFW) You don’t need to read the whole article, just scroll down and you’ll see what I mean.)

From now on, whenever I encounter people engaging in the fallacy of thinking that just because someone is successful that makes them generally worth listening to, I am going to imagine that they are earnestly telling me that a man having unprotected sex is one of the most nutritious of all possible activities.

I don’t care about football, but I love this tag, so…

From Ferrett, and confirmed and sourced at Deadspin, Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor had this to say in regards to why he wrote new Eagles quarterback and former dogfight organizer Michael Vick’s name in his eye black.

Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance, and I’ve always looked up to Mike Vick, and I always will.

I’m sure I would get to use this tag more if my sports interest didn’t start and end with the basketball season.  Come on, Oct. 27.

The Truth About Vampire Basketball Almost Comes Out

Ron Artest explains that a basketball game isn’t really getting out of hand until players are getting table legs thrown through their hearts.