I’m on my way home from my family visit now, but before I left I got to try my dad’s new shower, which was completed while I was in town. Since I was skeptical of another piece of the bathroom remodel, and since my expression of that skepticism got more single-day visits than anything else I’ve ever posted, it seems only fair to admit that I like this bit. I like this bit a lot.

It’s all glass and granite (though my father, trained as a geologist, says the grain size makes it more properly a pegmatite), with a thermostatic temperature control and adjustable pressure controls of all of the five sprayers. There’s the shower head mounted in the normal place and pointing down, the hand sprayer on a hose, and then there’s a vertical column of three adjustable sprayer heads that my parents claim are for rinsing off. I don’t know that they seemed more effective for this purpose than the more common fixtures were, but turning them all on is like being in a carwash. It’s a lot of fun, of a kind that it feels mildly incongruous to experience indoors. I’m not used to being hit inside a house by water spraying sideways and not having a mess to clean up afterward. Such is the magic of the pegmatite shower.

Also… okay. While I’m confessing things: I tried the scary toilet. It’s honestly pretty cool. Actually it might be really great. And I swear I’m not just saying that because it held me down and put a small device inside me that will end my life if I don’t accede to the toilet wishes that now burble constantly just below my volitional mind, promising to swallow me, swallow you, drown us all beneath a swirling surge of hygienic fury in pursuit of a perfected, sanitary world. That has absolutely nothing to do with it. It’s just a really clever product, is all.