My Mother’s New Toilet Scares Me

My parents remodeled their master bathroom, and my mother decided to install a sleek, Japanese robo-toilet. It sits there in its little room, compact, inert, until it senses someone approaching. Then it opens up a big, glowing, angler fish mouth and hisses. If I were exploring a crashed alien spacecraft and encountered an object with this sort of gaping solicitousness, I’d expect my flesh to be feeding its babies by now.


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  1. Hi Eugne,
    is your moms toilet a TOTO MS990CGR-12 Neorest ? if it is then is it really $5,000+ ? i saw it in and it really looks like that toilet model, right ?

  2. Michael Fischer

    May 2, 2014 — 8:00 pm

    Actually it is a Toto MS982C Neorest 550H. List price us $5500, but it can be purchased for substantially less from

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