Category: Amusing

Nice Try, Google

Good effort. Almost had it.

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Introducing Senhor Testiculo, Your Friendly Neighborhood Megascrotum

A Brazilian testicular cancer awareness group has introduced its new mascot Senhor Testiculo, or “Mr. Balls.”

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Give Uncle Scrotor a hug” made real. Happy Friday, everyone.

My Fortune

(Click to enlarge.)

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PAC-MAN HIGHWAY – Level 1 (gameplay) from NotWorkingFilms on Vimeo.

I Have No Idea If This Is Real

And I don’t care.  It’s supposedly the intro to a Russian knockoff of MST3K, and I love it unreservedly.

The Biochemical Origins of Raaaaahh

There is a group in England called the Sense About Science campaign, and they’ve been turning a skeptical eye on some of the more outrageous health and wellness claims made by celebrities.  Buried in the article I read about their project is this absolute gem:

One of the highlights for SAS was a tip from cage fighter Alex Reid, who told The Sun tabloid newspaper in April that he “reabsorbs” his sperm to prepare for a big fight.

“It’s actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn’t ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh,” he said.

I think my favorite part is the specificity.  Steak, eggs, lemons, and oranges.  A combination that I’m sure will be known as the Ejaculate Platter when Mr. Reid retires from the cage and opens his line of signature restaurants. (Actually — per a google search that I never suspected I would type — it looks like he is a reader of Vice Magazine. (maybe NSFW) You don’t need to read the whole article, just scroll down and you’ll see what I mean.)

From now on, whenever I encounter people engaging in the fallacy of thinking that just because someone is successful that makes them generally worth listening to, I am going to imagine that they are earnestly telling me that a man having unprotected sex is one of the most nutritious of all possible activities.

What Happens When You Google Anagram

Clever, Google.  Very clever.

The Basketball Fairy

In response to a caption contest for a picture of Manu Ginobili from last night’s game against the Orlando Magic (in which he scored 43 points), a user of the SpursTalk.com message board who goes by the name Interrohater penned a lovely bit of basketball mythology.

Basketball Fairy– The Basketball Fairy is an urban myth of a humanoid sprite that takes the form of a NBA player with a basketball for a head. It is said that if the Basketball Fairy appears, the colors that he wears will represent the team that will win the game.
Here is a controversial photo of a believed Basketball Fairy. Tim Duncan states: “He appeared in the middle of the Magic’s defense wearing Manu’s jersey. It was unbelievable. The Magic players stopped to look at the fairy and Manu scored 43 points with one shot.” Manu: “Claro, I’ve seen the Basketball Fairy before, he used to sell bolsas de arroz back in Bahia Blanca. I met him through Facebook.”

Sick Day

I’m been sick in bed all day, and the pressure in my sinuses seems to be pushing directly on the being-vaguely-pissy center of my brain.  But as many of my friends are sick too, we can all goof off on twitter together.

KatWithSword Have just learned that I am being nominated for a postdoc fellowship. Feeling very overwhelmed and honored.

glorioushubris @KatWithSword Woo! You are totally fellow material. I have always thought of you as a fine fellow.

glorioushubris Tomorrow I see the doctor. Today I stay in bed and practice trashcan basketball with sneeze-shredded tissues.

gralinnaea @glorioushubris Sympathy and empathy. Can we form a club?

glorioushubris @gralinnaea Let’s form a suicide pact, suicide pacts are way sexier than clubs. How about if we’re still sick come World Fantasy, we off it.

gralinnaea @glorioushubris Ok, check. I feel that this should be done in a dramatic and literary way. Hmmm …

ferretthimself @glorioushubris Not to horn in, but can I off myself, too? I think my body needs a deadline.

glorioushubris @ferretthimself @gralinnaea We need Gra’s ruling, but I think you’re welcome Ferrett. I conceive of this as a very egalitarian suicide pact.

gralinnaea @glorioushubris @ferretthimself Absolutely. Hmmm … how many people do we need before we can call ourselves a suicide cult?

glorioushubris Last night Facebook offers to make everything French for me. I decline. Today Facebook decides it knows what’s best, and I NEED French. Why?

glorioushubris In the preferences tab my language is still set to English, but everything is in French just the same. Why do you suck so hard, facebook?

ferretthimself @glorioushubris Dude, Facebook is frenching you. Don’t you know what that means when the most popular kid in town likes you that way?

glorioushubris @ferretthimself Shit! And here I thought I’d gotten less oblivious since high school!

KatWithSword @glorioushubris I don’t know whether I’m flattered, or full of the need to confirm you mean fellow in a nice, gender-neutral sort of sense.

glorioushubris @KatWithSword It’s no good desiring not to go among the fellows, for we are all fellows here.

gralinnaea @KatWithSword You’ll always be my favorite gender-neutral fellow … wait, that’s what you meant, right?

KatWithSword @glorioushubris @gralinnaea I just want to make sure that one can be a fellow, and still wear a bright pink breast protector while fencing.

glorioushubris @KatWithSword It would take some convincing to make me believe that anything says fellowship more forcefully than a barbie-pink breastplate.

Additionally, today’s being-vaguely-pissy music comes to us from The Kills.


I don’t care about football, but I love this tag, so…

From Ferrett, and confirmed and sourced at Deadspin, Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor had this to say in regards to why he wrote new Eagles quarterback and former dogfight organizer Michael Vick’s name in his eye black.

Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance, and I’ve always looked up to Mike Vick, and I always will.

I’m sure I would get to use this tag more if my sports interest didn’t start and end with the basketball season.  Come on, Oct. 27.